Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
