I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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