Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
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