I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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