I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
