pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
