I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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