I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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