i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
