his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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