You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
