Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
