Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
