she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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