She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
