arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Two words: nipple clamps
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