i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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