people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
