Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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