i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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