this beer tastes like vomit already
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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