Where is the hickey?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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