Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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