yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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