I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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