My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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