im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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