Christians are straight up FREAKS
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
3pm strippers are depressing
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
