So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
BRING THE BAGELS
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
