Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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