the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
