I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
