sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
