i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
