No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
