walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
