Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
this is an emotional support booty call
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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