she was so not down for the gang bang
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
