Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
