wakey wakey hands off snakey
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
