She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
