I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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