If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i dont even know how to be here
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
