Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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