hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
