He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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