Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
