a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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