You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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