I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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