3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
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