Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
