Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Randomize
