Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
