Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Drake has all the answers
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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